Note: The below essay was not edited by EssayEdge Editors. It appears as it was initially reviewed by admissions officers.

Knock, knock.

The door opens a crack.

"Hi, can I speak to you for a minute?"

"Go away. Don’t speak good English," the man says while he begins to shut the door.

"Please, I’ll only take up a minute of your time."

"No want to buy. Go!"

"I don’t want to sell you anything. I’d like you to register to—"

The door slams in my face.

Knock, knock.

The door opens all the way.

"Hi, can I speak to you for a minute?"

"Only speak a little English," the woman says pleasantly.

"That’s OK. I’d like you to register to vote."

"Huh?"

Slower, "I’d like you to register to vote."

"No." The woman’s tone changes from openness to hostility.

"The congressional election is next month. I think Marty Meehan’s policy on tax credits and his belief in raising the minimum wage would benefit you."

"My vote not count."

"Please, the reason I’m here is that—"

The door slams in my face.

These are two of the dozens of conversations I had while I registered voters in the Lawrence, Massachusetts, projects. Many of the people I spoke to do not speak English well, and even fewer have any interest in voting. They think it is a waste of their time and believe that their vote has no impact. Even though I tried to explain Mr. Meehan’s position on tax credits, the minimum wage, and subsidies for the poor, their view of government as a large, foreign entity over which they have no control is so strong that many would not listen to me and my arguments to the contrary.

The people I spoke to fear and are suspicious of the government, probably because it is human nature to fear authority. This fear upsets me because it is one of the reasons the poor do not participate in the system. If they voted as a group, the government would be forced to listen to them and implement policies that benefited them. Politicians are afraid to cut social security because senior citizens vote and have a very powerful lobby. If the underprivileged classes organized, they could have that kind of political clout.

Yet I realize the people I spoke to do not see themselves as part of the system and have no belief in it. Thus, the system has to reach out to them. That is why I registered voters and why I plan to participate in Clinton ’s reelection campaign. I would like to have a career in government because I want to have a positive impact on people’s lives. I realize I sound cheesy and idealistic, but I’m only 17, and one of the benefits of being this age (possibly the only benefit) is that I have not been tainted by cynicism. However, I do not know what role in government I would like to play. I would like to have the power that elected officials have; their decisions affect everyone in this country. Yet too often, in order to get into and stay in office, politicians compromise principles. I do not want to compromise my liberal beliefs, for if I did, I would not be helping those I want to help. An alternative to running for office, working for a grassroots organization, would enable me to maintain my beliefs. Also, I like the direct interaction with people that this line of work affords. However, most organizations focus on one cause, and I am interested in a number of issues.

COMMENTS:

The dialogues that open this essay immediately set it apart from the usual personal statements. An admissions officer who has been dulled by the ninety-ninth consecutive narrative beginning with the word ‘‘I’’ is likely to be revived by this essay’s unconventional opening. The writer has a good ear for human speech and neatly distinguishes the two exchanges through the gestures and tones of voice of the people she encounters.

This early sign that the writer writes well is borne out by the clarity and directness of all the sentences that follow, by the amusing aside about the limited benefits of being 17, and by her return at the end of the essay to its starting point—the residents of the Lawrence projects.

The essay also makes it clear that the writer thinks well. She does not simply have experiences; she considers what her experiences mean. Her work in the voter-registration drive prompts her reflections on a number of related topics: the attitude toward government of the project residents; the difference between the interest-group politics of the elderly and of the poor; her own political aspirations; the difficult relationship between personal integrity and political effectiveness; and the differences between elective and grassroots politics. That the writer can present all these thoughts in the space of four short paragraphs indicates how tightly constructed the essay is.

The piece’s principal strength is the writer’s candor. Some students might hesitate to express their liberal political convictions for fear of offending a conservative reader. Some might pretend to be certain about their career plans or fear that uncertainty might be interpreted as a lack of seriousness. Unlike these risk-averse students, this writer honored the request that all colleges make, in one form or another: Tell us who you are so that we will get to know the person behind the facts and figures of the rest of your application. By refusing to pretend to be anyone other than who she is, this student produced a successful essay.

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